New parents of 2020-2021

In light of the current restrictions on hospital visits, where moms-to-be are asked to attend the appointments alone, there can be mixed feelings involved. On the one hand, it would be great to have the company of my partner during the appointments. On the other, it needs to be pointed out that these restrictions are aimed to reduce the spread of COVID-19.

This is a shared feeling that lots of women and family members are struggling with. It's a difficult time for everyone. We all see life from different perspectives, and as a newly pregnant woman, there are some mixed feelings that I would like to share with you. It might not be a popular point of view, but some of you could relate.

Yes, we know that most of the people are giving out about the current restrictions on hospital visits, but, in my case particularly, It's normal.

Experiencing my first pregnancy in this crisis, it's impossible for me to know what it would be like to have my partner in the room with me during the scans. Of course I know it would be nice and special, but honestly, I don’t miss it. There is no comparison because I haven't lived the experience before. You cannot miss something that you’ve never had. I’ve been to lots of medical appointments alone and gotten bad news alone and coped alone. 

So, what’s another appointment, even if it is our shared little bundle of joy?

OF COURSE, I’m going to feel different at crunch time. Giving birth must be very frightening - no matter how many antenatal classes you take, books you read, helpful mums you ask- but I have the strong belief that women are so much more capable and powerful than this fear. I do.

I’m ok with sounding naive right now. Like I said before, it’s my first pregnancy, I haven’t been through birth before. I know there’ll be plenty of mums saying or thinking- “yep just you wait, girl”. Fair enough, but I can only write from my current perspective.

Ultimately, I can’t complain.
I know my problems- like everyone’s problems- are relative, but really, there are so many worse things in this world. So many worse things are happening every day to women. I am living a pretty privileged life as a woman, by comparison to most of the rest of the world.
Hard-won privilege.
Shouldn’t have to be called ‘privilege’.
Should be basic rights as a woman.

Well, with rights, come responsibilities.

If my partner and mother not attending means there is a reduced risk of COVID entering a hospital full of vulnerable women and babies, then I will accept that. I have the right to stay home and deliver at home, but I have chosen to put my trust in a hospital setting, in the midwives and obstetricians in that building.

So, I put that same trust in their advice that it is in the best interests of all therein, that we limit the number of people who enter. I WILL protest if someone brings COVID in and passes it onto my midwife/obstetrician, meaning I won’t have the highly experienced support I will so desperately need.

If and when, the well educated Masters of the maternity hospitals say it’s safe and show evidence to prove it’s safe, I’ll be DELIGHTED. Of course, I’ll be delighted- I’ve no interest in being a martyr. Send in the troops!

But my God, is there any mountain a determined woman cannot move? Or deliver?

I just feel a swell of pride in my fellow females in this country, in their resilience and their power.

1 comment

  • Louise

    Honestly a very rational and refreshing view. Some times what we want isn’t always what is best!

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